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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: One Night Stand Support Thread
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, March 7th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted in General.... I'm done crying for the night.

it's titled..

The Clash... Should I stay or

Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, March 7th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((wh2m))))


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
ohpuhlease
♀ Member
Member # 13679
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, March 8th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((wh2m)))))

I wish I could give you a real hug.


Those who know others are intelligent. Those who know themselves are truly wise. - Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching


Posts: 5714 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: *Proudly Canadian...Eh!*
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, March 8th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you.

I sent the link to WH. He said he kind of already knew I felt this way. That really surprised me.

I mean the fact that he is trying so hard (even though he doesn't get it a lot of the time)... I would think he would have caved and given up... That is his MO.


Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, March 8th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I was away & really not able to stay online much, but read your posts...

I'm so sorry that you guys were down... Its & whathappened...
I wanted to give you a hug. I knew what was going & on & sent positive thoughts your way.

We had our little trip... only once did the problem slip in... so much easier away from home.

He was so good to me.. always so good to me.... and that makes me feel guilty that I can't shake it.

Now we're back home and ... I have to remember to stay focused.

Hugs to you guys!


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, March 9th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

db, i'm glad you had a good trip! i'm better today.

i'm going to meet h tomorrow on his layover in...

reno!!!

the last time i met him was the first time since dday, and i had a trigger in the hotel...but i think i took that back from her and should be okay this time!

wh2m, more hugs and good thoughts.

to everyone else here, too!

i won't be online for a day or two after tonight, but will check back in on everyone when i get home.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, March 9th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DBJL - glad you had a good trip!!!!

its - Have fun in Reno!!! Gosh I haven't been there in a kazillion years....

I had a bit of a breakthrough.... better today.
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=282738


Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, March 9th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ITS! Have a wonderful time in Reno! That's great!

WH2M: I'm glad you are better today. I agree with what Dustbunny told you.

We have to work some things out in our mind and then stow it away.

I tend to imagine different scenarios. My real hope is to someday run into OW & her ex-bf face to face & have him stand up for me.

I have other scenarios that often pop up & I guess none of them will ever happen... and maybe it's for the best.

A friend told me that she & God argue a lot. I was shocked at first & then realized that I am arguing with Him, too.

I pray that we will run into these 2 women & we never do. Maybe when I quit praying for it, He will allow it. When I quit wanting it so badly?

I pray that this is another piece toward freedom for you.

(((WH2M)))


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, March 9th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ITS! Have a wonderful time in Reno! That's great!

WH2M: I'm glad you are better today. I agree with what Dustbunny told you.

We have to work some things out in our mind and then stow it away.

I tend to imagine different scenarios. My real hope is to someday run into OW & her ex-bf face to face & have him stand up for me.

I have other scenarios that often pop up & I guess none of them will ever happen... and maybe it's for the best.

A friend told me that she & God argue a lot. I was shocked at first & then realized that I am arguing with Him, too.

I pray that we will run into these 2 women & we never do. Maybe when I quit praying for it, He will allow it. When I quit wanting it so badly?

I pray that this is another piece toward freedom for you.

(((WH2M)))


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, March 9th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DBJL - I know what you mean about concocting situations!

I think you may be right about God having the better plan… and I’m sure his is along the lines of looking like a First Class woman - instead of a hubby stealing @%&*&!

I woke up at 2 this morning wanting to email the OW (who lives in England) from my WH, and say "please tell her what she wants to know; otherwise she is getting on a plane to England. She has friends in Sheffield and wouldn't think twice about coming and wreaking havoc for you."

See!!! Just when I'm moving forward a bit...


Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, March 9th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can really relate that. I just have 3 questions that he "can't remember!" She only lives about 140 miles from here. His son lives in the same city... I could easily go to her house and make her fess up.

She was the married one at the time, too. I'm sure her H wouldn't be too pleased if I showed up at the door!

OR... have thought of calling her.

When he called her to make closure for me and for him, he could have asked her then and didn't.

So... I imagine myself all the time calling her, running into her at a mall in that town, etc... and just asking those questions...

Two steps forward & one step back....

[This message edited by dbjl at 4:17 PM, March 9th (Monday)]


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, March 10th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((DBJL))))

its - hope you had a safe flight and are winning (if you are playing) in Reno! and NOT triggering.


Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, March 10th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mind movies while working in the yard.

GO AWAY! I'm so tired of hurting.


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, March 10th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow, lots to catch up on!

i had fun in reno...gambled a little, but only lost about $5. hey, you can't see a movie for $5!

i did NOT trigger in the hotel this time... until we went to dinner with his captain, but it was minor...more on that in general later...

i did a lot of thinking and reading on the trip. i have lots to share, which i will probably put in general so everyone can see it. hopefully i can get it typed up and posted sometime this evening.

wh2m, i posted on your forum in general. glad you are doing better! but, you are still on the rollercoaster, so your dream about emailing her is right in line with that.

db, i argue with God alot, too. and yell at Him. He understands.

i don't know what i would do if we ever ran into ow. of course, i wouldn't know it was her unless h told me...and since it's been so long, and (as far as i know) she doesn't live here (we have no idea where she is), chances are slim. some days, though, i would like to share a piece of my mind with her, and see her reaction to see what kind of person she really is.

also, i'm sorry about the mind movies while working in the yard. mind movies suck.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
ohpuhlease
♀ Member
Member # 13679
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, March 10th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hugs to all of you having triggers))))

I remember having them so bad it would just seem to consume me. The more I tried to not trigger, the more I triggered.

Then, over time, it lessened to about 3 really nasty triggers. I learned to manage those and now I'm down to just one. And some day, I know I am going to kick the shit out of the trigger and defeat it.


Those who know others are intelligent. Those who know themselves are truly wise. - Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching


Posts: 5714 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: *Proudly Canadian...Eh!*
dbjl
♀ Member
Member # 22878
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, March 11th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this one trigger per day, week, etc?????

Last night, I was furious with him. First of all, I was telling him something that happened & he interrupted my story to tell me about something else. I HATE THAT!

Then, later he asked me what was wrong & he just would not leave it alone! ....apologizing, offering to let me tell him without interruption...

Finally, why was I so mad at him. I just sat there.

And... I thought about the episode and realized that I was showing my anger because the episode made me recall everything...

I'm so tired of it all.


Posts: 216 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: The land of pain
ohpuhlease
♀ Member
Member # 13679
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, March 11th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this one trigger per day, week, etc?????

It's one trigger that comes at random times. I don't think I've even really experienced it for a few months now because I'm working really hard to control it and my H helps me with it too.

And... I thought about the episode and realized that I was showing my anger because the episode made me recall everything...

I think this is very normal. When our emotions are constantly in overdrive, it's easy for us to connect the dots to things that, maybe before hand wouldn't have bothered you as much.

Being that he interrupted your story, it made you feel hurt, less important, etc... all of the things you are feeling very deeply and intensly since his ONS.

It magnifies everything by 100%.

It will lessen. The time between triggers will get longer and longer. Some days the trigger could throw you into a rage.

Try not to be angry or impatient with yourself when you're going through it. As shitty as it is, it's your way of working through it.

((((dbjl))))


Those who know others are intelligent. Those who know themselves are truly wise. - Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching


Posts: 5714 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: *Proudly Canadian...Eh!*
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, March 11th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((dbjl))))


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
whathappenedtome
♀ Member
Member # 21695
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, March 11th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((dbjl)))

I folded today and emailed the OW.

Mad at myself. grrrrrr


Posts: 289 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Way UpNorth, California
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, March 11th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((whathappenedtome)))))


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
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