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User Topic: Agnostic/Atheist Support Group
Stangfreak
♀ Member
Member # 35157
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for this thread. Despite my tag line, I am a humanistic agnostic deist (or at least that is the best description I have come up with).

I wish that I had the faith to know that someone was looking out for me and that I was being protected, but I haven't seen any evidence in my personal life. Kudos to those whose faith helps get them through, but I guess I am not built that way.


"Some glad morning when this life is o'er, I'll fly away.
To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away (IN THE MORNING!)
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away!"

Posts: 85 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Alabama
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find it easier to not believe and to support myself than to believe in a higher power that is so fickle.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1698 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, June 20th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was wondering if any of you guys/girls know of any books on codependency that feature an Atheist perspective? I'm reading "Codependent No More", but it seems like it ultimately boils down to "Let go and let God".... which is obviously problematic for me.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1911 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Maxiom
♂ Member
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am curious about this myself given that Beatie has cornered this genre. None of her books seem to be as secular as advertised.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 452 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
cdnmommy
♀ Member
Member # 30182
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read codependent No More and I barely noticed the religion, and I'm about as committed an unbeliever as possible. I find the "let go" message works just as well without any spiritual qualifier. :)


Me: BW
DDay: Oct 2010 + 6 weeks false R
2.5 (+?) year A with married coworker/my "friend"
1 great kid.
Reconciling and healing

Posts: 1725 | Registered: Nov 2010
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, June 25th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've found that a lot of the lessons that are taught from a religious perspective work just as well for an atheist if you ignore the religious parts. I've found that replacing "submit to a higher power" with "fuck it, it will either work out or it won't" works for me.

Posts: 1552 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
Maxiom
♂ Member
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 26th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The issue I find.. and I truly do not mean to offend anyone of faith.. but for me personally.. anyone who directs me to "offer it up to a higher power" loses all credibility. To be fair.. I would have similar reaction to someone stating things like... " the universe unfolds as it should" or "everything happens for a reason" No and no.

'not that I don't think Beatie isn't knowledgeable in the subject but statements like that are simply dismissive and lazy.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 452 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
doodley
♀ Member
Member # 21433
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to put this out there for you guys -

http://www.seculartherapy.org/

This service puts together secular therapists and clients and does so confidentially. Fantastic resource.


It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. ~Albus Dumbledore

Posts: 120 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: GA
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doodley,

Thanks for the link. The brain trauma specialist I'm seeing luckily believes in "spirituality" but not so much religion. It's not that I have a problem with religion, it seems to have a problem with me . I have a problem with submitting to a higher power as well - might as well tell me to give all my issues to Santa. Just my opinion.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3740 | Registered: Dec 2011
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've had to move back in with my very religious mother temporarily. There have been a few interesting moments. The other day, I read this really cool article about how Google was working on a computerized system where your entire consciousness could be uploaded and you could "live" (in a sense) forever, or until there was a really bad power outage or something. I thought it was a really interesting concept.

I'm telling my Mom about this article and she's looking at me like I'm totally batshit crazy. "That's impossible. A computer can't hold your soul." Now I'm looking at her like she's batshit crazy. To me, we're just a series of electrical impulses who happen to exist by the remotest of chances. To her, we're endowed with a unique consciousness by a creator. Totally different world views.

I'm glad I had this moment with my Mom because it's helped me to not break the rules here once or twice over the past couple of days. There have been a few things posted that struck me as way beyond ignorant and well into the dangerous category. I just reminded myself that to the person who posted, that worldview makes as much sense as mine does to me.

It doesn't mean that what they said is any less idiotic but it has helped with my impulse control.


Posts: 1552 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Man if Google builds the Neuromancer I am gonna move to one of the square states and buy a whole fucking lot of guns.

I try to remind my kids that people believe different things. They get upset when kids occasionally tell them things like they're bad because they don't believe in god or that they aren't really people because they don't have souls and are going to hell, etc, but it is easier for them to understand because their grandparents are very, very religious and they love their grandparents. It's kind of a life lesson how beliefs are only as good as the believer. I hate my in laws but I am glad that my kids love them, and they all have a good relationship.

Also I figure if I can be polite around them I can manage it around anybody.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7341 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They get upset when kids occasionally tell them things like they're bad because they don't believe in god or that they aren't really people because they don't have souls and are going to hell, etc, but it is easier for them to understand because their grandparents are very, very religious and they love their grandparents.
I worry about this as well. We're raising our son as an atheist, but not in the aggressively anti-religious vein. I'm atheist, but I'm fairly subdued...I know some atheists who make it their life mission to argue with and ridicule every single religious person they know. We just don't talk about god(s) or religion of any sort in our home...I'm sure at some point there will be some questions regarding it from my son, but it hasn't happened yet as of first grade.


"The thing that always seems to be shocking to wayward wives is the simple fact that the man you choose to reconcile with is not the same man you cheated on." - a friend.

Posts: 1911 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Sammy2013
♀ Member
Member # 41040
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, Agnostic/Athiest here. I'm new to this site. I am so glad to see this group. So far this site has been a life saver for me. I have little support in real life around me. One person I confided in told me "Oh, God let you see his email to catch him!! He did that for you!!" Ugh, I got upset. I usually don't and just let it roll off my back. But I'm an emotional basket case right now. I said "If got has that kind of power, why couldn't he keep my husband faithful to me and prevent this hurt to begin with? What is the point of this pain?" She went on to tell me it makes me stronger, God is testing me, won't give me something I can't handle. It sure feels like I can't handle it right now!!

Sorry, vent over. I know she meant well and I apologized for jumping on her. She was just trying to help. I'm just an emotional zombie right now and super sensitive.


WH -37; BS (me) 38
Married 12 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. 3 more since then (trickle truth sucks). 6 years of Prostitutes, 2 affairs in 2013, SA diagnosis now with 1 relapse so far (massage parlor with happy ending 2/14).
Waiting, observing,

Posts: 207 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southeast United States
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My favorite quote:

Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one. - Thomas Jefferson

I think it fits every situation. If your religion is atheism, agnosticism, or a belief in some great narrative, it's how you live your life that defines your beliefs. You don't get credit for believing in something you don't practice.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3740 | Registered: Dec 2011
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, October 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love peeking into this thread. One of the reasons my STBXWW claimed to be unhappy with me is because I "turned out nine-year-old into an atheist." I explained--or tried to explain--that I was merely teaching him critical thinking skills.

"Then what is this!" She asked, shaking a children's introduction to evolution at me.

Clearly I am in league with satan himself. :-)

Boy is it going to be fun when she wants him bar mitzvahed.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1571 | Registered: Dec 2012
embee
♀ Member
Member # 41100
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, October 25th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really happy to see this thread! I'm brand new here, and trying to take it all in - just paged through this thread quickly and didn't see anything similar, so please forgive me if this is repetitive. A lot of the book recommendations I've been seeing are very heavily religion-based, and I know that's going to be a turnoff for me, and even more so for WH.

So, does anyone have recommendations for their favorite books that DON'T come from that perspective? It's not that I can't gloss over some mentions of faith, I just want something from a progressive viewpoint so I feel I can relate to the advice.


Me: BS, 26
Him: WH, 28
D-Day: 10/23/13
Separated

"Are you hurting the one you love?
You said you got to heaven, but it wasn't enough."


Posts: 57 | Registered: Oct 2013
ascian
♂ Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me bump this up since I've seen some...let's call it friction, in a couple of threads in other forums.

Personally, I call myself an "apatheist." I don't find faith a requisite to being decent. As I told my 7 year old, who's hearing a lot about religion from classmates: "I'm going to be a good person in my life because that's something that everyone should do. If I die and there's heaven, that's great, but if I die and there's nothing after then that doesn't mean the good in my life was wasted."

Anyway, hope folks are doing alright this week.


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 265 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll be perfectly honest, I've been biting my tongue (so to speak) around here a bit recently. I try to remind myself that some people feel that believing in that sort of stuff gives them strength, although it's insulting when they post about how their particular superstition is the only way through this mess.

I think I've just been a bit grumpy recently.


Posts: 1552 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
ascian
♂ Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand that entirely, I've had to bite my tongue a few times and not engage. I guess if they are content to keep their religion their own religion, I don't need to jump in and tell them they're wrong. At least not so long as they're not using their religion as a weapon against other people.


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 265 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
Kierst13
♀ Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How have I never noticed this group? I often feel like the odd man out in threads in General and R. It is nice to see you all!

[This message edited by Kierst13 at 1:54 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
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