That is good.. I am happy to hear that he is remorseful and you both are working on R.
Of course, you should also do a thorough search of his e-mail, phone, FB account, etc. to make sure that nothing has already happened.
The texts/emails/facebook exchanges etc and exchanging photos are all new and exciting. Some people can compartmentalise and say they are totally separate from the love they have for their partner.
I would be really careful though as this sort of thing can lead down other paths.
I would suggest counselling and installing a keylogger (without him knowing) at the very least.
Good luck and sorry you find yourself in this position.
In my case, what especially added insult to injury was the fact that my fWBF and I met online. I've worn it proudly like a badge on honor and encouraged others to try to meet someone this way. After all, look at how successful our relationship was, right? Seeing him write the same things to other women that he had written to me still makes me ill.
It truly doesn't matter that they didn't mean anything to him or that he didn't touch them. The fact remains that he betrayed me by sharing an intimate part of himself that was only meant for me.
The day he got the damn thing must have been the day he started all that crap, and when I found it the first time (before I knew about the full blown PA he was having at the time), it cause me to have a nervous breakdown. It's a been a very bumpy road to where we are now.
If your gut is telling you something isn't right it usually isn't. Keep an eye on it and NEVER tell him what you're doing!
I've been here once before, about 8 months ago under a different name. I thought it was all worked out, but I was wrong...
My bf (yes bf, not husband, not even fiance, some people might stop reading at this point and say just leave and don't look back) and I have lived together for just over a year, been together about two. The first time (emails, profiles, etc) he said he didn't see it as a big deal at all since it wasn't "real", etc just like a lot of you have said. But supposedly understood how I felt, how he would feel the other way around, etc and did/said all the right things to gain my trust back..It's still hard to believe he'd take the time to do this. Maybe that's why sometimes I feel like I'm the one in the "fog" bc sometimes it doesn't even feel real...
I'm not sure if he knows that I have most of his passwords (he's not the most internet savvy and has the same passwords for everything, he has asked me to log in to look stuff up before a long long time ago so maybe he thinks I just don't remember?)..Anyway, I have the password to his regular email (which he usually doesn't use for this stuff) and could probably figure out the ones to "that" email acct as well as an acct he uses on a website (pof). There could be more websites too, and probably are, I just haven't taken the time to sit there and look.yet...Which makes me think, again, how do THEY have time for this with work, family, everything else going on in life? Why would you take the time to sit there and make up accounts for this shit?
I have the password to his phone (which again, is almost the same as his other passwords and he types it in right in front of me so all I had to do was pay attention while he types it in to figure it out) which is where i saw the texts...He never hides his phone and leaves it out all the time so I'm sure he thinks I don't know the password or wouldn't take the time to look. There are several different people he texts with (I assume they are from pof), trading pics of genitals, etc. Some he talks to often, some are every once in awhile. It breaks my heart and makes me sick all at the same time bc he simply isn't interested in that stuff with me...Sending him pics of myself, sexual/flirty texts, gets little to no response. He just doesn't want me. I'm not a supermodel but the people he talks to are gross, old, yes maybe they have big boobs but thats it..What do they have that I don't?
I also found texts from an ex (which after a little thought I figured out were from when I happened to be out of town for a girls weekend, how convenient)..Drunk, sober, fighting w/ me, out of town, I don't care, there is no reason he should be texting an ex (she's younger, nothing special through I know there are interested in some of the same things) unless there are still feelings there or something. I couldn't read the texts he wrote, only her responses (he must have tried to delete them but they were in a hidden folder) but it sounded like she had maybe texted him the night before or something bc she said oh, nevermind i'm back in (town where she goes to school) now, just wanted to see how you were doing and another response he must have asked her to meet or something bc she said i can't i have to work early, etc. Shady, shady shit.
Why does he keep me around, continue to talk about plans for our future, do family stuff w me, continue to put me in step-mom position with his son, if he doesn't want me? I don't make a lot of money, is it just to have someone there? Why not just break up with me if he wants to be single? If you're not into someone anymore and wanting to explore what else is out there, why not just break up with me? Needless to say I haven't confronted him yet about this partly because it doesn't even seem real to me..I'm not sure what to do yet, so I'm not doing anything except focusing on myself, getting out stress through my workouts (recently joined a kickboxing/boxing club so that has helped a lot with my stress level), doing what I want/need to do, focusing on starting grad school in a few months, getting my ducks in a row...
Maybe I feel like I need to prepare myself a little because I know that once I confront him, the shit will hit the fan and it's possible I could want to leave very quickly..I don't know what I want...And I wonder why it's not harder to keep it from him that I know? I don't check his phone everyday, and sometimes he does delete stuff so I know the times I don't find anything I shouldn't get my hopes up bc it doesn't mean he's not doing it anymore..I'd like to say I know for sure it's all online/texting but right now I don't know anything for sure - it's hard enough for me to believe the stuff I've already found even though it's right there in front of me..And if it hasn't progressed to anything physical yet, it usually does right?
I just feel like if I have to demand that he stop doing it, doesn't that defeat the purpose? I have tried very hard not to be bossy/controlling (I have apparently been that way in past relationships), and tried to not have a "demanding" attitude while still trying to show that I respect myself and need respect from him ...I guess I want him to do what he wants, I can't control anything that he wants or feels, I can't make him want me, love me, etc. If he wants these other women, his ex, whoever, I can't make him stop having those feelings..I honestly love him with everything in me but if he doesn't feel the same way it's not possible to force it...I want him to WANT to stop doing this, not stop doing it because he got caught and because I asked him to. Does that make any sense at all? But obviously this IS what he wants to do bc he hasn't stopped doing it..Something about our relationship isn't meeting his needs, for some reason he is not content with "just" me/us..I am still trying to wrap my head around it and don't feel I'm in the position to make any moves just yet..I know what I'd tell someone else - cut and run, there are guys out there who just don't do this...Why can't I take my own advice...I feel unloved and unwanted and crave his love & attention so bad but it makes me feel so desperate..
Maybe im more sad than angry, sad that now i know im just not it for him & he doesnt feel about me the way i do about him..i dont know what to do, hes going about life like normal, talking about insurance & household/family stuff...i have this urge to give him space, like get out of his way & give him time to himself even though we all know how hes probably going to spend it..we were supposed to go to halloween parties sat, do i go & just have fun w friends there and revisit my thoughts later? Make up a girls weekend & go stay w a friend til sun? Say im not feeling well & just stay home? I dont know...btw i tried sending him a sexy text today just for the hell of it, asking him if he was interested in x,y&z tonight, etc. of course, no interest..hes interested in it all right, just not from me (I can guarantee if that same exact text were from any of his "girls" there'd be quite a different response..
He comes home & it will feel normal, easy to forget & hard to distance myself...its hard to look at him & know that he wrote those texts, those are his words, his choices, initiated by him...its almost like he has this whole other side to him, like i dont even really know him at all..