Just keep looking after yourself.
[This message edited by Fallen at 7:39 AM, July 2nd (Thursday)]
"There would be no grand absolution, only forgiveness meted out in these precious sips. It would well up from his heart in spoonfuls, and he would feed it to me. And it would be enough."
I did what you are thinking of and I did not get the clarity I sought. First he sobbed and cried, then he said he wasn't seriously going to go through with the meeting - he just felt "insecure," then he said he did it because I was withdrawing.
I don't know how to do it so you don't reveal your sources. I suppose, if you really want to get his attention, set up an online account, set up a rendezvous and both you and your MC wait for him in the hotel room. Better still, wait for him in the room with your divorce attorney. That, I guarantee, will get his attention.
Whatever you choose, good luck. Another thing - maybe you could enlist a trusted friend whose voice he doesn't recognize and get a pay as you go phone in case he wants to do a voice check.
If he wants to play games, he can play on a self contained game system - one that does not connect to the web. This game can facilitate more inappropriate activity, IMO. I can't stress this enough!
Keylogger- absolutely, especially since he's still lying about his web access as it is.
Do I sound emphatic enough? WoW is a big no-no for him, especially right now. He needs to face reality, not live in fantasy land. If he wants to play a computer game to de-stress, there are game systems that are single player. If he balks at this, to me it's a pretty clear sign that he's hiding something and still lying.
[This message edited by Fallen at 5:20 PM, July 7th (Tuesday)]
I am currently in the very-angry-and-ready-to-commit-murder stage.
In my case, I have noticed that my WH starts the pursuit when I'm busy elsewhere and not focused totally on him. He's very jealous of attention directed anywhere but on him so when my son needs me to be a mom for him (he's grown) my WH starts a new A. The A will progress until the OW decides she's fed up.
You would think I'd get to a point where I'd just roll my eyes and not give a hoot, but I do and each new woman is another knife in my heart and I continue to make matters worse by confronting him. Now we are to the point of discussing separation although our friends and my IC assure me he's going nowhere - it's just a manipulation technique.
Has anyone else noticed this kind of thing in their spouse?
My son says he thinks WH does this to get my attention and friends I've mentioned it to believe he's on to something. So getting my attention means he wants me to find out.
I'm totally confused.
Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!
ETA: I think much of my husband's cheating falls in the cyber/online category. Although he knew all of these women personally, a lot of the relationship(s) and what I object to have gone on online, mushy forwards, secret e-mail accounts, discussing our personal lives via decade+ of e-mails with a woman I never knew existed, etc.
[This message edited by capri at 5:04 PM, October 11th (Sunday)]
BS DDay Jan 11, 2009
I knew my WH looked at porn. I never knew how much until last week. Did you know they can mark their favorites on certain sites and it keeps the dates? This particular site he had been going to for 2 1/2 years! I don't know what made him go from just porn to taking that extra step to actually contacting someone for a ONS. There is a very popular East Coast Website that you can sell things on, but you can also go to a "casual encounters" section. Supposedly, there never was a ONS, but I'm not sure. I would certainly like the "Why's" before any R is truly possible.
Please help!! I need input, advice, I don't know what I need.