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User Topic: Double Betrayal
BringOnTheRain
♀ New Member
Member # 33847
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, February 1st (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't been on this site in a few months but decided to check in this evening and stumbled across this I can relate forum along with the double betrayal thread. I definitely fit the bill here. My husband had a A with my then 17 year old sister who was staying with us at the time. She's now 18 and they have an apartment together.
I found out in October and I plow through every day, getting through the day and most days I don't think about them and I'm ok, I can manage. Other days, I cry almost all day.... Anyone else go through this?


"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying"
"Rain didn't make things messy. People did that all on their own."

Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Maine
Notmetoo2011
♀ Member
Member # 32912
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, February 2nd (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((BringOnTheRain))

Honey, so sorry you are here. What a horrible situation to be in. You must still be in shock.

As you H is now living with your sister I take it the rest of your family knows what's going on. Do you have their support or any one else IRL you can turn to? Are you seeing an IC?

Take care of yourself and your son. I don't have any words of wisdom but know you've been heard and I'm sending you hugs and strength.

[This message edited by Notmetoo2011 at 9:09 AM, February 2nd (Thursday)]


Me-BW 47
SAWH 48
Married 25 years.
4 children
D-Day 26/07/11
Multiple PAs, ONS,

Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2011
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, February 2nd (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..

..a sister yet..

..for what it's worth, i'm 65 and see things thru old eyes..

..i 'see' a sister who, at 16, 17, even 18.. as being so still a 'child' in terms of any real measure of maturity.. wanting what 'older sister' had..

..she is in teenager fog fantasy and will be there for a few years yet..

..she really doesn't have a clue what the hell she's doing with her life.. not looking past the end of her nose..

..her infatuation with big sis's WH may fizzle out sooner than you think.. and he'll come wimpering home with his credibilty and honour down the toilet!

..keep your chin up!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 66
Her 63
Married 41 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4018 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
BringOnTheRain
♀ New Member
Member # 33847
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, February 7th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks NotMeToo and somanyyears. I am still in shock most days. The days when I actually allow myself to think about it. Most days, I just don't allow myself to and that's the only way I can get through sometimes. No, not, I'm not in IC at the moment. I know that I probably should be but funds are just so tight right now. He still helps me pay the mortgage as I'm still in the house but he also has to pay his rent and so the money goes in the bank and its the same level of income, his and mine, except now it's funding 2 households, the mortgage and the rent along with groceries for both places. I know that I need to divorce him to feel like I can move forward and not feel completely stuck but I can't afford a lawyer either! Ugh! I'm just stuck and he gets to move on with her. I know its over but I'm of the mindset that I can't move on while we're still married. Unlike him I guess, I took my vows seriously. We're separated, it's over, but I just don't feel like I can do anything. Does that make sense? She posted on her FB a link, picture thing that says Someday I'm going to marry him..... and then commented I love you &#(*$. Ummm... Yeah, he's still married sweetie. Oh dear Lord. And no, I don't troll. Someone mentioned this to me. I have blocked them both from my FB so they can't see me and I can't be tempted to see them.
You might not have words of wisdom NotMeToo but your hugs and strength are enough.
Somanyyears, I believe you're right, Karma will show her beautiful face and they will fizzle and he will try to come home. It'll be too bad for him that I will be slamming the door in his face..... Mwahahahahaha!!!!


"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying"
"Rain didn't make things messy. People did that all on their own."

Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Maine
purplefinch
♀ Member
Member # 32471
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, February 13th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, my goodness. Just saw this. How horrible for you. Your own SISTER!

I am so sorry.


Married 28 years, together 32; DD age 23
Me BW: 52
XWH: 54, liar
DDay 6/3/2011
skank-a-saurus: 48 yo FORMER friend of 30 years.
status: Divorced January 25, 2012!!

Posts: 674 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Massachusetts
EnyaOdin
♀ Member
Member # 30699
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, February 27th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly it looks like I belong here to. If you want to know the first part of my story please read it in my profile. I just found out last week that I am pregnant and my WF had a double betrayal going on at the same time. I am now 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant and so stressed and scared. Here is what happened since last fall. WF and his ex, in October, had an emotional affair. I found this out in January. At the same time he was having another emotional affair with a woman he worked with. When I found out about his ex through his ex's mom he promised me he would try. And he seemed too. I had no idea about the second affiar going on. Then mid February I started to get pregnancy symptoms. We have had 5 miscarriages over the past2 years so I was worried and scared and stressed. He told me he suspected I could be pregnant and acted all happy. A few days later while I was making dinner he told me he was no longer in love with me. I was shocked. At first he said there was no one else but then admitted to having another affiar. He said he was in love with her. I demanded to talk to her. He called her and told me that if she didn't want to talk then I would not get the phone. But she did want to talk. And I quickly learned and so did she that he had lied to both of us. She told him it was over. She never wanted to see him agian. Within 24 hours he told me knew he was in love with me and was scared of his feelings. We found out for sure that I was pregnant the next day.

In January of 2011 he was diagnosed as being borderline personality disorder. We learned that basically the way he sees things is he tries to surround himself with people or events that will confirm to him that he is a bad person because that is how he sees himself. And that when he knows someone is healthy for him or someone truely loves him then he will do all he can to destroy that since it is too scary to handle the unknown. If not for the diagnoses I would be gone. But I also suffer from mental illness (post Tramatic Stress Disorder from a rape, Bipolar - low scale, agoraphobia and anxiety/panic disorder). If I expect him to accept me with my mentle health issues then I sould stand by him as he tries to over come his.

All on his own last week he quit the job he works at where he worked with the other woman. He then went out and bought a wedding ring to wear on his finger. All his choices. He says that this will remind him that he is taken and show other women that as well. He has also be talking more and listening more and has been b\very concerned about how I am feeling both physcially and mentally.

I don't know why I am posting other then I feel very alone right now, very stressed and very scared. I know I love him. As long as he wants to try then so do I. I know what it is like to be udge and deserted by people you trusted when they learn about your mental illness. I just don't know what else to do. I just feel lost and alone.



Me - 36 -BF
WF - 43
dd1- 04/10 PA, dd2- 06/10 EA, dd3- 07/10 PA, dd4- 09/10 EA, dd5- o5/11 EA, dd6- 01/12 EA, dd7- 02/12 EA & PA.
He is a Serial Cheater.
We are expecting soon.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Canada
whatjusthappened
♀ Member
Member # 34695
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, March 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TMI warning:

I don't know why it's taken me so long to post here, but I've been feeling a real need to lately, especially in light of some things I've learned in the last few days.

My H's A was really more of a triple betrayal with my neighbors. Both OW and OWH had been suggesting swapping and/or group sex for a couple of months, but I wasn't interested and I believed my H wasn't either.

One night after the 4 of us went out for a double date (a mutual friend's birthday party), we came back to my house to have a few more drinks. However, all night both OW and OWH had been really pushing the foursome idea, and I thought the best way to address it was to avoid it, so I played possum and pretended I passed out in bed. I was completely conscious as OW ran her hands over me while OWH watched, grabbing my breasts and putting her hands down my underwear. I continued to pretend I was too drunk to respond, she got bored or discouraged, and she and OWH went into the living room where my H was. *This event is something I have only recently admitted to my H. He didn't know about this, and I never shared it because the degree of shame and violation I feel surrounding this is extremely difficult for me. When I told him, he sobbed for about 5 minutes, and then he launched into a rage unlike anything I've ever seen. I thought he was going to kill them.* When OW and OWH went into the living room my H says the following happened: they told him they were horny, started having sex, and fWH watched. Then OWH took OW and "gave" her to fWH and he had sex with her. I have to live with the knowledge that I very likely heard her having sex with my H, thinking it was "only" OW and OWH. The next morning, I asked fWH what happened, and he admitted to only watching them have sex. I believed him, and unknowingly opened the door to the A.

Over the next couple of months, OWH set up several threesomes, telling my H that I was obviously not a good wife for not understanding that a man needed more than one sexual partner. OWH convinced my H that it was natural to have sex with OW. For whatever reason, fWH believed that shit.

In the next few weeks, OW decided she wanted fWH to herself and started sleeping with just him. OWH knew about this, but was fine with it as long as OW promised not to grow attached to fWH. However, fWH and OW began to think they were in love, and control-freak OWH realized he needed to end it. OWH told me about the A on D-Day, leaving out all the parts about his role in the A. As soon as I confronted fWH, we both went NC with both of them.

I think OW and OWH are sick sociopaths, and I am fairly certain we are not the first M they messed with (although they both swore they had never done anything like that with anyone else). I am not only dealing with the betrayal by my H, but the deep, deep shame and disgust I feel about what OW and OWH tried to do to me, and that I had an opportunity to stop it in its tracks and didn't.

I think I just needed to get this story off my chest - it's weighed heavily on me and is just one more obstacle in a very difficult R.


Me - 39
Him - 38
Married 15 years
2 DS
Day my world crashed down: 12/22/11
In R. Most days.

Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: AZ
Notmetoo2011
♀ Member
Member # 32912
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, April 2nd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whatjusthappened

My WH also had several threesomes with a couple we were friends with. It was initially solicited by the other couple then turned into a brief A with just the wife. This happened probably 10 years ago (I did not find out about it until D Day).

He followed this with two LTAs both with so called "friends". I had a similar experience to you in that one of these women tried to convince me to have sex with her husband one night when we had been drinking. She came on to me first, tried to kiss me and convince me to let her do certain things to me that I really didn't want any part of. At the time I thought she was a friend and I didn't want to offend her (stupid me), so I told her nicely, "no" I wasn't into that and I didn't want to spoil our friendship by doing something stupid that I would later regret. Turns out she was already screwing my husband and maybe thought it would alleviate some of her guilt if she could get me to sleep with her H ( he knew nothing of their A). This couple has since divorced. She doesn't know I know. (this all happened about 8 years ago). I haven't seen her since DDay but she still thinks we are friends. I haven't felt up to a confrontation until recently, but I'm starting to feel stronger lately so that time is coming.


Me-BW 47
SAWH 48
Married 25 years.
4 children
D-Day 26/07/11
Multiple PAs, ONS,

Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2011
DontTreadOnMe
♂ Member
Member # 35240
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, April 5th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While my WW had a EA/PA w/ OM that I have never met, my brother's wife (SIL) betrayed me as well. SIL that I had known for 10 years was w/ WW every step along the way. SIL even showed her the ropes to cheating. (No one else knew of SIL's cheating) SIL even went to OM's house w/ WW. I firmly believe that if it weren't for SIL, WW would just be W. At least for now.

My brother has buried his head in the sand since I told him about his WW. And SIL is denying everything and only admitting to "kissing" an OM.

I was away at training for 2 months when all of this happened. Phone records showed WW and SIL "texting" each other a total of 11 times the month prior to my leaving. Two weeks after I was gone, WW and SIL started talking more than WW and I talked. They texted hundreds of times. Almost everytime I got off the phone w/ WW, she was on the horn to SIL. SIL's M w/ my brother was already on the rocks and I warned my WW to not let their problems rub off on us. Should've fkin listened, WW.

I can't believe WW chose to be loyal to OM and SIL over me. If that isn't a double betrayal then I don't know what is. And to top it all off, I was talking w/ SIL the whole time who insisted that she said nothing but good things about me and my M to WW. I even confided in her when WW confessed to the PA. She acted so sincere and upset that she has been given the "Liar of the Year" award. Fkin b*tch

Today is the birthday of my 8 year old niece. My brother has the balls to tell me that SIL doesn't want their kids around me/WW. WTF? What is wrong with people?


Me: WH/BH, 27 (addict in recovery)
Her: Lost333, BW/FWW, My DDay: 2/19/12, Hers: 9/29/12

Working on myself through IC, NA meetings, intensive outpatient program, and lots of digging. Praying for R.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
Aussie In Pain
♀ New Member
Member # 35292
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, April 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3 weeks ago my husband of 11 yrs admitted to having an affair with my best friend. I'm sure you understand my pain. But it got worse, she's pregnant. I howled like an animal in pain. Noone in this world knew more than her how much I wanted a baby and not only did she mess around with him but now she's get a baby too.
3 weeks on and I'm still taking it one day at a time. Pain, betrayal, guilt, shame, embarrassment, hurt and absolutely feeling unvalued and unloved. How could the two ppl
I trusted most in this world do this to me? How could they look me in the eye after and not feel guilt? How will I ever survive? How will I ever get to be a mum now? How can I ever trust and feel secure again?
What I wouldn't give to be able to turn my mind off!

Posts: 6 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Myheartstillhurt
♀ Member
Member # 32430
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, April 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Aussie))

That is so terrible. I am very sorry for the pain you must be in. Did your husband leave?

All of us in this thread can relate to the double betrayal part. I am so sorry you are dealing with a pregnancy as well. Was she with any other people at that time? If yes, then a paternity test should be done when the baby is born to ensure it is your husbands. These woman who cheat with married men, tend to be screwing lots of people (at least my xBFF was)

I know too well that howling pain, the agony. It does get better with time, which is really no help right now, I know. I am sorry for that. Make sure you try to treat yourself good.

Whether you and your husband reconcile or not, you still could very much end up being a mom.

Being able to trust is really hard right now. Your husband has betrayed you.. hard to trust him or men for that matter. Your xBFF has betrayed you... hard to trust any friend or woman.. I get it. Almost 2 years out and I still find myself pretty distant. But it isn't all terrible.

You WILL survive, so many people do. It is hard work to go through this pain, but when you do you will come out stronger. There is also an OC (other child) thread here in ICR (I can relate). You can also reach out there to others who have been in your same predicament as far as the OW being pregnant.

I'm so sorry you found yourself here, but you are with some of the strongest people in the WORLD. I truly believe that.


BS(me) 32
fWH 36 (Epicallyfailedu)
OW/xBFF of 28 years
Four girls under 11
DDay: 6/5/2010

Posts: 2009 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Michigan
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, April 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..(((((Aussie)))))

..do not ever measure YOUR value by the poor and selfish choices other ppl make.

..those that would betray us, seem to do it blindly, and don't see the cruelty that their actions inflict until it is too late.

.. how often have we heard, "i never meant to hurt you!"..

.."we never meant for it to happen!"..

..this is a horrible event in our lives and, for me 3 years out, it still 'kills me inside' every day

..time to draw upon your inner strength and all of your core values.. go on survival mode ..pull on the big girl pants!!

..and show these two ppl just who they're dealing with!

..take your time to get your feet steady..speak to your doctor,(tests), lawyer,(rights) and a good friend for moral support.

( i find it so difficult to even say the word 'friend'
without choaking )

..be good to yourself.. stay nourished and watered..
..sleep may be an issue.. doc can help with meds..

..so sorry you've been put here but glad you found us.. many will come to help in all the different forums..

..check the healing library too..

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 66
Her 63
Married 41 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4018 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Aussie In Pain
♀ New Member
Member # 35292
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, April 9th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all, the tears flow freely knowing there are others who understand. Some more info.
The night he told me he was remorseful. He then spent a week saying he'd stay with me if I let him, that he wanted to help me. And then it came out that he regretted that, that he feels responsible for the baby and that he loves us both.
To make it more complicated, when I found out, I was due to have lapband surgery in 2 weeks - to get healthier and fitter, with my goal of having a baby.
So yes, he has stayed in the house. I had surgery last Mon and needed someone home with me to help me. The pain at times - phycically has been really bad and I am only now starting to get up and about ok. He says he wants to stay to help me get healthier, confident and better but that he thinks it's over. Eating has been really hard - I am on a liquid diet for the next week and I have absolutely no appetite.
I keep waiting to get angry at him but I can't just erase the love. I know I should hate him, kick him out. I worry I let him stay hoping that he will change his mind. I will be 35 in June and worry that this is my only chance at a baby. I worry I will never trust again.
The killer is she has two kids already, that he considers spoilt brats. So he will go from no kids to 3 and me, who desperately wants one, will be left with nothing.
I have made an appointment with a counsellor tomorrow. I am hoping to find strength to move on. It took me 2 weeks to tell anyone and have since told 3 friends everything. 2 more and my family just know that he has been cheating - that alone was more than my mum and sisters could bear. I know it's not my shame, but I feel it non the less. What if I was skinnier? WHat if I was more attentive? But no, I have been a bloody good wife. ANd have always been overweight, since he met me. It's no excuse. I can take ownership of some of the problems in the marriage, but it was soley his choice to cheat.
As for her, I can't think of her without a heavy heart. I opened up to her more than anyone in my life. Helped her out through a messy separation last year, had her living here for 6 weeks while they found a place to live, have helped her financially the last 9 months as she's struggled on her own - she owes us $12,000 which was meant to be repayed when her house sold. But it hasn't sold yet. ANd this is how she repays me. Some friend. Some hubby. Some life.
I'm glad I found this site. I will look at the healing library. Taking it one hour at a time, one day at a time. I just wish I knew how to feel better. I have never felt so low in my life.
Thank you all for listening! xx

Posts: 6 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Notmetoo2011
♀ Member
Member # 32912
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, April 10th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Aussie )))

So sorry you are here. It is a heartbreaking position to be in when you are betrayed by both your spouse and BFF. It really makes you wonder what is wrong with these people that they can so callously toss us aside while they satisfy their own selfish wants.

First and foremost, you must take care of yourself especially as you are recovering from surgery. It's good you have some support IRL from your family and friends. Lean on them when you need to. Read up on some articles in the Healing Library. As hard as it may be implement the 180 with your H. Show him how strong you are.

I know you desperately want a baby. Don't think he is your only hope of that happening. Women are having babies into their 40's all the time, so you still have plenty of years left for that.

You have no cause to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Your H and xBFF are the ones who should hang their heads in shame. Stand tall, hold your head up and show them how strong you are.

Find a good counsellor to help you, talk to your doctor and hang in there honey. There are lots of us out here who know how you are feeling. Sending you hugs.


Me-BW 47
SAWH 48
Married 25 years.
4 children
D-Day 26/07/11
Multiple PAs, ONS,

Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2011
wolf_heart
♀ Member
Member # 35262
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, May 12th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I belong here too. Sad how my WH and the OW could be so careless to us spouses. Not to mention she was a close friend. I just don't get how you could seduce your friends husband. It sure didn't take much either. One dinner invitation and he was lying to me about stuff to spend time with her. Made up a work related deal to be out of town with her. Made up a lot of excuses to be with her. Even using my friendship with her to go visit her. Crap I hate this.


Married 26 years
BW: Me, 47
WH: 47
DDay#2: March 8th, 2012, with one of my good friends.
DDay#1: Oct. 20th 1992, 2 years post PA
Attempting R
Without honesty, loyalty, and commitment; saying you love someone, simply means nothing.

Posts: 227 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Southwestern Area of USA
Myheartstillhurt
♀ Member
Member # 32430
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 3rd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*bumped for mesostupid*


BS(me) 32
fWH 36 (Epicallyfailedu)
OW/xBFF of 28 years
Four girls under 11
DDay: 6/5/2010

Posts: 2009 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Michigan
ouch23
♀ New Member
Member # 35843
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, June 22nd (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi there, so sad to see so many of us in the same situation. My H had an EA with my friend(my 3 year olds best friends mom) I found pics/emails of very sexual nature. Shattered by the DB, H and I are in R but its very new still. My daughter asks every day when she can see her friend. Sadly, never again.


Me-30 WS-32
Married 5 years,together 8.
1#DDay EA w/old GF 1/5/08(12 weeks pregnant)
#2DDay 6/12/12 EA/sexual nature/with my close friend.
4 kids
Still love him so much:(
Reconciling.....

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: ouch23
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just found this thread; not sure why it took me so long.

My story is in my profile, but basically my fWW's A was with a VERY good friend of mine. The OM's W was her very good friend, going back 16 years.

One thing that hit me especially hard this morning... My fWW told me about how she felt during the A... how the OM "chose" her over his own W... like she had "won" his attention and preference. All this while she was still 'good friends' with her. Yes, very fucked up...

As I was walking through the parking lot at work this morning, and triggering as always, seeing the OM's car (I work with him still, unfortunately)... the thought occurred that he likely had the same thoughts. That my wife 'chose' him over me (at the time... we're R'ing). That he'd "beat" me. It was an infuriating thought, and it already takes constant self-restraint to keep from beating him to death, on a daily basis.

I've seen other threads, asking the question whether it's better or worse knowing the AP... but anyone who has to ask that has no idea how bad the double betrayal is...


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
Notmetoo2011
♀ Member
Member # 32912
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DWBH

Sorry you find yourself here. It truly is heartbreaking to discover that not only our spouses thought nothing of betraying us, but supposed "friends" too.

My fWH is a SA and has had many As. Two of his As we're with the wives of couples we were good friends with. The BHs were probably two of his closest friends. Go figure. I was totally unsuspecting and totally trusting. I never dreamt he would cheat on me, he was always telling me how much he loved me, blah,blah,blah. I also never dreamt a friend would betray me by sleeping with my husband even if the opportunity presented itself. How stupid and naive I was, because not just one friend, but two had no problem doing just that. I should add that fWH had three other "flings" with employees who also knew me (two were while I was pregnant or on maternity leave.)

It must be incredibly hard for you to still work with OM. I don't think I could handle that.

What you said about your wife feeling "she had won" by getting OM to chose her over his wife is I think the key to how so many of these OW/WW feel. There are a lot of very competitive women out there who seem to feel that stealing a man from another woman is 'one up' for them. It's like they have a need to put someone else down to make themselves feel better about themselves. I apparently have been unfortunate in finding myself living in an area where there are a lot of these type of back stabbing, catty, bitches who have no integrity and do not know the meaning of true friendship.

I don't know that I will ever fully trust anyone again. Certainly not my fWH ( who I thought was my best friend and soul mate), and not even female friends. It's sad.


Me-BW 47
SAWH 48
Married 25 years.
4 children
D-Day 26/07/11
Multiple PAs, ONS,

Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2011
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, June 27th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are a lot of very competitive women out there who seem to feel that stealing a man from another woman is 'one up' for them. It's like they have a need to put someone else down to make themselves feel better about themselves.

I don't think it's limited to just women... men are so competitive by nature. In my case, the OM is short... about half a foot shorter than me. I'm quite sure there was a bit of the Napoleon complex going on...


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
Topic Posts: 1000
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