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I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing With Depression
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, July 27th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am still having a difficult time even though my doctor increased my meds. I can focus a bit better, but still don't feeling like getting out of bed some days.

Just got back from a trip to Disneyworld, major, major triggers, I think the trip did more harm than good.

It has been four years since D Day, and I guess I have never gone through the acceptance stage. I don't know if I can every accept what he did to our lives.

I manage to hold a part-time job, but my problem is at home. I am not the same person anymore. I used to keep a clean house, used to enjoy cooking, now I barely clean, only when necessary, and I don't have any motivation to cook.

The days I get a few things done, like a couple of loads of laundry or bills, are my "accomplishment" days.

Add menopause to the mix, either I am sad, angry, or feel "nuts."


Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
lost_in_space
♀ Member
Member # 24302
Default  Posted: 2:09 AM, July 28th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nothereorthere- I'm so there with not sleeping. I've had depression off and on since I was a teenager and it always included trouble sleeping. It became a more permanent part of my life when my first husband died suddenly in 97'. He was also a cheater and he died alone in a hotel room in his sleep after a seizure. The last person to see him was someone who he had been having an affair with. I was at home with my 3 week old son. Now after this second cheater I'm 2 for 2. I have doubts I will ever have a normal sleep pattern. I am on celexa (almost 2 weeks in) but it's not helping in the sleep department.


Me: BW 38

Last DDay: 7/15/09
TT: 2/28/11
TT: 3/5/11
Dday again: 3/10/2011
All Done: Better late then never.


Posts: 3513 | Registered: Jun 2009
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, July 28th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am finally feeling better and sleeping better. It took a while for the increase in meds to kick in.

As for sleep, one thing that helps is establishing a routine that you do at the same time in the same order every night. It might include washing your face, brushing your teeth, taking a bath, reading. And try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day.

Exercise helps, too, just don't do it too late in the day. They say late afternoon/early evening is the best time.

((((((((hugs)))))))))


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
lost_in_space
♀ Member
Member # 24302
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, August 3rd (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having trouble with 'cutting' right now. Seems like there is not release even with meds and i can't get a grip so to speak. Upstairs and cutting now. Pointers for not 'cutting'? I hate the way it reads...


Me: BW 38

Last DDay: 7/15/09
TT: 2/28/11
TT: 3/5/11
Dday again: 3/10/2011
All Done: Better late then never.


Posts: 3513 | Registered: Jun 2009
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, August 4th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((lost))))))))))))

I don't cut, but my niece who recently moved in with me does. We are trying our best to help her.

I can't pretend I understand it, but I do try.

I am sorry I didn't see this sooner, but I wanted to let you know someone out there cares and is thinking about you.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, August 4th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking about all of us who are dealing with depression.


Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Wantmeback
♂ New Member
Member # 21507
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, August 15th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm as low as i have ever been. Trying real hard to hang on.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: TN
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, August 15th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((((Wantmeback))))))))))

It's a hard road.


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
eaglecelt
♂ Member
Member # 9402
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, August 23rd (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been depressed for about 9 years. It started on DDay 2000. Been divorced 4 years, and have been getting better slowly I think. I don't take meds. I mostly fake being happy when I have to. Whenever something good happens, it scares me. I'm unmotivated. I don't think I will ever have a gf or wife again, because the first one did too much damage. I have to fix myself first.


Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Posts: 367 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: California
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, August 23rd (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you are in so much pain, eaglecelt. Have you ever considered anti-depressants. Taking medication is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of true courage that you want to begin your life and feel again.

When you are physically ill, sometimes you need medication. The same holds true for emotional illness, the medication won't change you or take the pain away or the battle scars away, but it will help you deal with everyday living much better.

I hope you find peace, many of us are struggling here.


Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
flowermom
♀ Member
Member # 23950
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, August 23rd (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been dealing with depression for years. If someone had my husband they'd be depressed too. Antidepressants help a lot. However, they aren't the sole solution. Counseling and change in thought helps dramatically, as does exercise and sleep. But when you are deep in the pit, the thought of exercise, sleeping well and taking care of yourself are huge roadblocks. You can only take things one day at a time, and do a bit more each day. We all need a big hug from someone who really cares.


Me-BS WHSA, 3 wonderful kids, all grown.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Posts: 570 | Registered: May 2009 | From: South
Lemrac
♀ Member
Member # 21184
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, August 26th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sad all the time.
All i want to do is cry.
I take pills and alcohol to sleep to forget.
I pretend to be happy for others (wearing a mask)
i have given up on everything. I dont have the drive to do much. I dont cook that much anymore. I do basic cooking. If i can call that cooking. That fire inside of me is slowing dying...
I just want to be alone all the time. I still go to work because I got bills to pay..
I dont think that if I'd be gone i would be missed.
I dont believe when ppl tell me im pretty, generous, a nice person..etc..
All i got so far is crap..i have been swimming in a cess pool for the longest time..I'm just tired..fed up. I wanna stop the pain..the heartache.


Me BW: 28 Yrs Old
Him WH: 44 Yrs Old
Together: 6 yrs
Married: In Sept 2007.
Affair: First time: July 2008..Then too many to count.
Signed Divorce Petition: July 9, 2009
Kids: None together THANK GOD!
*********************************
Carpe Diem

Posts: 80 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Quebec, Canada
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, August 27th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Lemrac))))) Keep posting, it helps.

Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
mommy0508
♀ Member
Member # 24720
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, August 27th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two days after finding out about A I took a bunch of pills and ended up getting my stomach pumped. I was very lucky and for several reasons that I can now see was given a second chance.

I think I suffered from a mild dose of post-partum after both of my children and just worked through it because if you admit you have depression you are crazy, and what kind of person needs a pill to feel better that is just stupid, at least that is what I thought.

I am currently on medication for depression and severe anxiety and it doesn't change who I am, like I thought it would, it helps you really sort through things and figure them out in a normal, civilized way. And the effects that depression and anxiety have on your body is devistating. I still have my bad days where all I want to do is lay in bed and have a big pitty party for me (sometimes I actually do), but never bad enough to where I would ever contimplate leaving my children or the people that love me behind for my own selfish reasons.

What I have learned and I hope I don't offend anyone, is that your depression does not stem from your partner doing whatever it is that they did. That is crazy behavior and talk, you cannot justify taking a bunch of pills or slitting your wrists or doing whatever it is, with the fact that your spouse had an A or that you had an A. Your actions should not stem from what somebody else does, they are not your controller and by giving them that control you are hurting yourself more than you can imagine.

Now with that said I believe situations, such as these we are all dealing with bring that depression to the surface in a very brutal way.

I am a long way from great and no expert, but I try to take one more step to the person that I want to be each day and I know that I am the only one that is in control of my body and mind not my WS not my parents, not the people I work with, it is up to me and I am trying everyday to own my shit and not get caught up in the poor me life is horrible bit.

If anyone needs to talk I am very open and available and welcome PM.

Hang in there it will get better.


Wipe your mouth there is still a little bit of bullshit around your lips!
D-Day #1: 5/29/09
D-Day # 2: 7/1/08
D-Day #3: 6/17/10 possible oc on way and
my own little miracle on the way-miscarried!

Posts: 733 | Registered: Jul 2009
brokenheart09
♀ Member
Member # 25338
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, August 31st (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lowest I've ever been...like all others - can't eat or sleep. Have newborn twins at home and just found out about 5 year LTA on Saturday 8/22. Still numb...


Me BS (33)
Him WH (35)
5 year LTA
DD:2/Twin sons: 8 months
DDay: 8/22/09 (his) & 9/8/09 (from her)
R: still deciding...

Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2009
mommy0508
♀ Member
Member # 24720
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, August 31st (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

brokenheart09 -

I would really suggest you getting into doctor, besides the fact you might be dealing with a little post partum this puts a whole new spin on things. I am so sorry you are here and going through this.

Keep posting there are a lot of very wonderful and knowledgeable people on here.


Wipe your mouth there is still a little bit of bullshit around your lips!
D-Day #1: 5/29/09
D-Day # 2: 7/1/08
D-Day #3: 6/17/10 possible oc on way and
my own little miracle on the way-miscarried!

Posts: 733 | Registered: Jul 2009
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, August 31st (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

brokenheart, I just sent you a PM.

Listen to the above poster and meet with your doctor.


Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, September 6th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping this thread because I am still struggling.

Have an appt. with my doctor in two weeks, have to change medication, the first four I had adverse reactions, the last one isnt doing a darn thing.

Hope everyone dealing with depression takes a leap to see their doctor for some help.


Posts: 7271 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
mommy0508
♀ Member
Member # 24720
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, September 8th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

annb -

I am glad you are going in to talk with your doctor. If something isn't working be firm and let you dr. know.

I personally am back on full dose I am able to take of anxiety meds and they are not doing much of anything anymore, so am going to be making an appt myself.

Have actually been trying to wean myself off anti-depressants but evertime i don't take them I cry and cry and cry, maybe right now isn't the best idea to stop taking medicine. Just wish I could function on my own.


Wipe your mouth there is still a little bit of bullshit around your lips!
D-Day #1: 5/29/09
D-Day # 2: 7/1/08
D-Day #3: 6/17/10 possible oc on way and
my own little miracle on the way-miscarried!

Posts: 733 | Registered: Jul 2009
itspjw
♀ Member
Member # 21268
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, September 8th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi there,

I am also back on full dose of two different Ad's. It does seem to be helping, in addition to IC, but it is still hard at times. I'm dealing with Sab issues now in addition to the A stuff, so it's been really hard.

(((((((hugs)))))))


no, I can't take one more step towards you...cuz all that's waiting is regret...

there's just too much that time cannot erase

dday 9/11/08

And the more I know, the less I understand

Because of you...I am afraid...


Posts: 14786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 498
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