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I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dealing With Depression
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, December 31st (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I heard on some news show the other day that Effexor is the worse thing to be on because it is very addictive.

Chelle, as a general rule, antidepressants are not addictive. I know that because I work in the area of mental health as well as being on Effexor SR myself. However, Effexor is somewhat more difficult to stop than some of the other ADs. When we are taking patients off of this drug, we wean them over a period of a week or two.

I have been on Effexor SR for well over a year now. I have no noticable side effects. It keeps me level. I still have times when I feel down, but that's the rollercoaster ride this infidelity stuff throws us on. Personally I could care less if I take this until the day I die. Long before this happened I was an advocate for those suffering from a mental health disorder. It's sad for me to hear or read that some are embarrassed by having to take medication for depression. Although I do not tell people about the infidelity, I have no problem letting them know I take ADs. To me it's no different than a diabetic taking insulin.


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
chelle1966316
♀ Member
Member # 4969
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, December 31st (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So how do you wean them?Do they have side effects from that?Once I had stopped taking it at one point because I couldnt get the prescription refilled right off and boy I got so sick.I thought I was dying of some weird flu thing.Honestly.Then I thought maybe its from withdrawals from the meds.Sure enough it was.I have never had that experience and never will again.At some point I would like to try living without the meds and see how life is once again but going through that again scares the pants off me.
I couldnt even go to work for two days.
The good thing about it is I dont get side effects either and I wont go off it without the Drs help.
I have no problem telling anyone if they ask but I dont bring it up.


I am WS from Feb 2004-April 2004 first then a BS.
Together since 1981,married 1987 to present.Divorced,March 2012,for financial reasons, but still together until end of October 2012.Now hes having a midlife crisis and living away from home.


Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: Maine
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, December 31st (Monday), 2007View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You really should be supervised by your doctor. I take 150 mg. a day. If I were to go off, I'd ask my doctor for the 37.5 mg. capsules. I'd probably go down 37.5 every 3 or 4 days, if not more. On the active mental health unit, we wean our clients more quickly, but then we are there to supervise them. As well, we give them a mild anti-anxiety med if they feel jittery from the withdrawal. They usually don't have to take many of those meds because the jitters don't last very long.


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
leezy
♀ New Member
Member # 17242
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, January 1st (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I'm not the one who should be writing here about being depressed,since I am the WS, but I think I am (or am starting to). I'd been okay the past few weeks, but then there was a death in my family, Christmas, and now I"m having these horrible obsessive thoughts. I can't eat, do things around the house, or get out of bed really (unless I have to). I'm sad and cry all of the time, because of the things I've done. I'm not sure if I should see a doctor, or just wait until my husband is home and see if things get better. I really dont' want to go on anti-d's...I don't know what to do...

Posts: 50 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: WA
hurtnside
♀ Member
Member # 17088
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, January 7th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Leezy... Just a quick word to tell you that just because you are a WS, there is no reason to NOT post here about depression. Don't think for one moment that because you "started" this, you don't have a right to feel certain things. The overwhelming guilt and self-disgust you feel is quiet often the "best" triggers to a downward spiral into depression. Depression does not choose sides....


FWS-Me 30(hurtnside) BH-Him 34(Dadof_1, aka: Joshufett)
Married 2 1/2 years
Together 8 years
2 kids 11 and 10

In R


Posts: 195 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Colorado
LifeInCrisis
♂ Member
Member # 2155
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, January 12th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get a strong impression from this board that anti-depressant medication is much more readily used in the US than in Europe.

Direct consumer advertising of pharmaceuticals is still banned in Europe, so the awareness of specific drugs and brand names is an even more striking difference.

I don't know what the implications of this are. I just wanted to point out the sometimes dramatic difference in attitudes which exist in the western world on this issue.

In Europe, my impression is that "ADs" are usually regarded as an absolute last resort, reluctantly prescribed - something to be avoided if at all possible.



Posts: 528 | Registered: Sep 2003 | From: Europe
napewastewin
♀ Member
Member # 15297
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, January 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LifeInCrisis,
I fought against going on AD's at first, was outvoted so to speak. I usualy try a holistic approach to wellness.
I did try to quit AD's cold turkey but that did not go well as you fall hard. In my world, "my peers" It goes, God first for healing, then nature, then Doctors and meds, then you know who forbid, pyhchiatrists, phychologists, councilors.....It is interesting the difference between countries, even between areas and groups. Tell me more about your area, pm me if you wish.

[This message edited by napewastewin at 7:59 AM, January 13th (Sunday)]


take your candle and go light your world

Posts: 1443 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Michigan
LifeInCrisis
♂ Member
Member # 2155
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, January 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was being understated in my post (from a sort of fear ). Now I will be controversial (i.e. honest ).

They're mind-altering chemicals, sometimes with side effects. They apparently can be addictive. Do reliable longtitudinal studies exist? (who knows what the long-term effects are? can we know for sure they are not carcinogens, for example?)

Is there such a difference between recommending ADs and recommending alcohol or cannabis? They also numb the pain.

Big Pharma makes no profit if you choose the latter. There are very good reasons why direct to consumer advertising by pharmaceutical companies is banned in Europe.

I worry that uppers or downers aren't the best way to tackle life's problems. In individual cases, it may be so, but the overall cultural prominence of ADs in the US is something very striking (and something I don't find enviable).

It would be interesting to hear this debate taken up by medical professionals from different parts of the world. I am no such person, so my comments are person and at the level of cultural phenomena rather than science.


Posts: 528 | Registered: Sep 2003 | From: Europe
napewastewin
♀ Member
Member # 15297
Default  Posted: 3:33 AM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, I share some of the same concerns as you do
LifeInCrisis When I tried to go off my AD's cold turkey, I went right back to or worse then when I first started them. I am going to try to get off them again. I know that they have helped me but it makes me wonder if I should have fought harder to not go on them and to just let time and hard work do it's healing magic. Thank you for bieng straight forward with what you believe, wish me luck.


take your candle and go light your world

Posts: 1443 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Michigan
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I myself considered A/Ds the last resort. I'd gone one them right after discovering my H's ONS, the one which he gaslighted me perfectly into believing he "set me up" to find out... the one where he convinced me I was depressed, paranoid, jealous for no reason.... that I needed a doctor, counselor or medication. I got on meds alright and they reduced my anxiety to such a point that I didn't see the red flags. Didn't worry about those condoms in the truck, H's explanation was just fine. Didn't worry about those late nights, or the lack of sex because the meds lowered my libido to NOTHING.

So the thought of going on them again this time never entered my mind. I waited 2 years before I gave in. Now my IC thinks I need them adjusted because I have so much anxiety going on.

Sheesh.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
notjustfriends
♀ New Member
Member # 17130
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I used to be on Effexor SR about 2 years ago. My doctor and I weaned myself off of it and we went VERY slowly...from 150 mg to 75 to 37.5 then went to normal Effexor and started splitting the pills... overall took about 4 months but I had no severe problems (no brain tremors/shaking). Now two years later I am on Zoloft (sigh) to help deal with depression again...


Posts: 15 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: West Coast
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, January 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am depressed.

I feel like a slug.

There is no joy in anything & my house is a cluttered sty. I have had bouts of depression since puberty.

I cannot take A/D's. (Life, I totally agree w/ you & about scary Big Pharma. We are..."Prozac Nation", that's for sure.)

I try all the holistic methods. I'm falling down into a black void...the nights are the worse.

It feels like I'm "sundowning" which I first experienced during the grief throes of my son's death.

I just don't know what to do.
Its helps to know there is an ICR on this, though.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
napewastewin
♀ Member
Member # 15297
Default  Posted: 4:21 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dreamlife))) I want so much to go off AD's. I know about depression, 9 damn years of AD's. My H's A threw away 19 years of my life and my depression and the A aftermath has made the last 9 years a jumbled mass of pain, anger, hurt, and confusion. I am at a place where I need to live and get through this. AD's have helped but I don't think they are the answer, for me anyway. For me, I want to rise above this and learn that I am not such a bad person no matter what lies I have come to believe about myself and life due to H's A and all the crap that brought to our lives. I feel like I have spent the last 9 years punishing myself, hating myself for something I didn't do or deserve. None of us deserve what we were handed here.......uh listen to me will ya, starting to sound like the leader of a revolt.............................

Dreamlife, BTW, what is an ICR???????????

[This message edited by napewastewin at 4:41 AM, January 15th (Tuesday)]


take your candle and go light your world

Posts: 1443 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Michigan
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nape, thnx.

ICR = I Can Relate...sorry. I just learned what IRL means.

I feel a bit better now having gotten a few hours of good sleep.
Now, if only the sun will come out for a few hours & I can sit in my greenhouse past the snow...I think I will feel a bit happier.
My depression comes and goes & I know its all part of this damned "roller coaster".


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
chelle1966316
♀ Member
Member # 4969
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, January 16th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Leezy I am a WS too.I blame past depression for my feelings about myself,which lead me to have an A.
It got a whole hell of alot worse though once all this shit hit the fan.
I think any major trauma would have done it anyway.I know I was headed for a melt down.
There is no way I would ever try to go off the meds.on my own.Just missing a few cured that and that was accidental.


I am WS from Feb 2004-April 2004 first then a BS.
Together since 1981,married 1987 to present.Divorced,March 2012,for financial reasons, but still together until end of October 2012.Now hes having a midlife crisis and living away from home.


Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: Maine
chelle1966316
♀ Member
Member # 4969
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, January 16th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can a person have SAD as well as depression?
I know that it sure feels like I have a case of it even though I am on ADs


I am WS from Feb 2004-April 2004 first then a BS.
Together since 1981,married 1987 to present.Divorced,March 2012,for financial reasons, but still together until end of October 2012.Now hes having a midlife crisis and living away from home.


Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2004 | From: Maine
just foundout
♂ Member
Member # 17771
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, January 17th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you go about getting help with depression. I am pretty sure I am suffering from it but I am too afraid or embarrassed to go the doctor.


Waiting to see what father time will do with me.

Posts: 595 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: nebraska
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, January 17th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear just, do not be embarrassed. It was hard, but the dr. didn't even blink an eye when I went and said I think I'm depressed. Actually, my therapist sent me. He did a quick 15 minute questionnaire with me and at the end, said "yep, here's a script, come see me in a month, call if you have any adverse reactions or the depression worsens." LIke he did it all day long, which he does.

There's no real stigma to this. Trauma, long term abuse triggers changes in your brain chemistry. Man made chemistry helps set them right.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Broken613
♀ Member
Member # 17670
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, January 17th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't be embarrassed. I was nervous about saying anything as well. I was fairly sure I was depressed months before I worked up the nerve to say anything to anyone. Then one day I just had enough and went into my dr. office and discussed the symptoms I was having. He diagnosed me with depression (suprise!). Gave me a prescription and an appointment once weekly for the next 2 months (ugh).
The upside of going is that you take steps to feeling better and working your way out of depression.


Don't gamble with what you can't afford to lose.
D-Day - December 18th, 2007

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: British Columbia
dontdream
♂ Member
Member # 14303
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, January 24th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am taking Cymbalta (60mg) and lexapro (10mg)

it is ok.

I am still incredibly depressed - but also finally feel like there is a floor to the depression.

so I am hopeful - but my situation right now is pretty bad and I am feeling hopeless.


--
BH: almost 36 (me)
ExW: 35
DD: 15y
D-Day 2/10/2007
LTA: 15 months with former boss

Divorced on 9/2/08
Happy with myself - accepting of being single.
working on finding a new beginning.


Posts: 406 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Seattle
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