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Newest Member: iknowiwillbeok (43219)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Women
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, February 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, I must be BLIND. I never saw this BW before!

Yes, add me, too.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
icantcope
♀ Member
Member # 18652
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BW Here. I still can't cope with this mess. I am on AD's and trying to stand on my own two feet. He wants to help to heal me He wants to R Now that he had his fun the family is the most important thing in his world Thank you for listening. Talking to yourself gets old real fast.


Half empty or Half full it is still Half

Posts: 206 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Midwest USA
warrior
♀ New Member
Member # 19443
Target  Posted: 7:58 PM, May 7th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok good grief, no just grief! Bad grief, You name it I have experienced it except i am pretty sure my husband has not sleep with another man. I am not a low selfesteam person. And I have a great successful job ( I dont have to spell) But for some reason I can believe what he is telling me or I chose to believe that I am really just imagining things

Posts: 9 | Registered: May 2008
Ariandme
♀ Member
Member # 15264
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My D-Day April 24th via an e-mail from OW. H denied A but I am GONE! I am filing for D next Friday when I get paid again. He has totally cut me out of his life, changed his cell number, I have no clue where he lives and he also stopped contacting my daughter (not his, from previous Marriage). The oW is PSYCHO with a capiol P!!! Holy crap...so I know that R will never last, after all it was built on LIES!
I am moving in 2-3 weeks and H has no clue where. I also changed my cell number which he does not have. I am done with the Marraiage, it was doomed from the start. I was a "fixer" and he can not be fixed by anyone but himself and I never see that happening, ever. He feels he has no problems, that he is fine how he is. He was a womanizer and will always BE a womanizer. He is in the fog or wayward right now and he will be for a long time. He says he "loves" this woman so she can have him and now she can be his secretary, have 5 minute sex with him, take him everywhere since he has no license and she better not expect him to give her his entire paycheck, he always keeps like $500 for himself.
What I "miss" if you want to even use that term is the comfort level with someone...I can pee with the bathroom door open with him. The whole idea of building that up with someone else is frustrating to me. I am looking forward to meeting new people, gaining who I was again, it got lost along the way and being happy with me and my indepedence. I know he will forever be using women and never will know true love and I am not free to find a man who will love me for who I am inside and out and respect me.


My love was Free...what did your affair cost you?

Posts: 324 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Chicago
choosewisely
♀ New Member
Member # 19572
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i am betrayed and unfortunately so is she...
my man met someone on eharmony. isn't that lovely. wonder if one of those four million points of his personality included that he is a liar and a cheat. so now he has a new chick who "knows about me" however she obviously doesn't know everything about me because he has been living in my house and calling me everyday that we have been in a long distance relationship. he moved last year after he got fired (didn't tell me for a month when i confronted him) and i helped him find a place to live. got him all settled. he stole a check from my book and paid a grand for a fence without telling me. i bounced some checks to the tune of $300 bucks. but i was SOOOOOOOOOO stupid i let it go and kept on the charade. we went on vacation in september - he again was rude and insensitive. i gave him the walking papers, nearly worked but then he flew here with the "grand gesture". several weekends he showed up, thanksgiving, i kept my distance, had dinner but wanted it to end. then Christmas came. I already had the ticket to go there and once again stuuuuuupid, i went. he planned a wonderful weekend at a nice place, spa the works. we then went skiing a month later, he already was on the e harmony. he met this chick and was communicating with her. vacationing with me. i was oblivious. he continued on with her, met her (she lives three hours from him) would go visit, nice dates, etc. there were several occasions when he went for hours not answering my calls. should have been clued in but never would have suspected. then he came to visit for a month. the texts, the calls and i knew. she called with "how was your day" i could hear it loud and clear. he told me he worked with her (lie) and that it was all innocent. made me feel crazy and suspicious. INTUITION WINS AGAIN. i left that night, then he was gone. he continued to pursue her. and lied to me despite many direct questions, elaborate lies. planned his lies to cover his weekends. then i knew and confronted him point blank. he confessed and I flipped. all on the phone. he hasn't told anyone else, not mom, sister until this weekend when his mom came to visit. she met the new girl. i called him for a therapeutic pity party. why do i feel so betrayed by such a schmuck. this guy has no respect for me, no love but put up a good show for three years. he was aware of my nasty divorce four years ago that ended due to infidelity and he betrayed my trust immeasuribly. i don't think i will ever feel better. help.


life is like a box of chocolates -watch out there may be a nut in the middle

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19


Posts: 18 | Registered: May 2008 | From: northwest
choosewisely
♀ New Member
Member # 19572
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry all, i vented where i shouldn't have. got carried away. :(


life is like a box of chocolates -watch out there may be a nut in the middle

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19


Posts: 18 | Registered: May 2008 | From: northwest
breakingheart
Member
Member # 19909
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate feeling being a betrayed woman. I wish there was a better word for it.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jun 2008
lemony.2008
♀ Member
Member # 20125
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There must be more of us out there??

[This message edited by lemony.2008 at 11:03 PM, July 19th (Saturday)]


Feel the feelings and drop the story. - Pema Chodron


Posts: 2243 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 6:32 AM, September 4th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just noticed this and also that they have one for betrayed men!

I am a BS and I agree that there has to be a whole LOT more of us. Some only post in General or R.

My FWH and I have been in R for almost a year. He had a 2 1/2 yr. LTA. We also had almost 6 months of a false R! He is SO different now that I sometimes wonder "who" he is! And I mean that in a good way.

Lov'in


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where is everyone???

It is really WEIRD that the BM forum has more people and responses!!!

There has to be a huge amount of women here, so where are you's? We have a place to support each other, no matter what the circumstances!!

Anyone there......


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
SophieKnows
♀ Member
Member # 20839
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm here and a BW :( I wish I wasn't.


Me: BS - 33
WH - 33 SA, Multiple D-Days, Multiple OWs, Multiple Profiles on Dating Sites

False R - Was Separated - Now in Limbo while he's going through IC.

Mother to a wonderful 4 year old daughter.


Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Canada
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A place where women come together and share their challenges, difficulties, fears and triumphs.

My challenge>getting out of bed in the am.
My difficulty>getting out of bed in the am.
My fear>getting out of bed in the am.
My triumph>getting out of bed in the am.

Y'all know the routine.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
badlyhurting
♀ Member
Member # 18915
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am here and could really use some support.

In my situation, I am headed for a D. August 8th I finally drew my line in the sand and told my WS to commit to the marriage or get out. He said "My feelings for you aren't intense enough to make that commitment" and he moved out the next day.

We have 5 children. His affair started just before we conceived #5 and continued until 23 days before she was born.

HB - I so understand the "getting up in the morning" being a challenge. I just want to curl up under the covers all day and cry.


Me - 37 BW
Him - 50 WX/Sperm Donor
5 beautiful children
Dday 10/29/07 - day after my birthday, 23 days before birth of #5
Too Many False Rs; D final Feb. 09.

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Mar 2008
laid2waste
♀ Member
Member # 20474
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm also a BW... never saw this thread before now tho.

Not quite a month into R - having some issues with that

tired of the psycho-coaster ride I've been on

Wish his dangley parts would fall off


Still hoping for the best... being optimistic sucks sometimes.


D-day: 6/20/08, 7/15/08
ME: BS/43
HIM: WS/41
OW#1: 44 YO - EA/PA lasted over a year!
OW#2: 55+ YO - PA/EA approx 8 months
STATUS: False R 6/25/08, False R #2 8/7/08, His LAST chance 9/29/08

Posts: 119 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Western Wisconsin
NewMama08
♀ Member
Member # 19532
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a BW also!
I never saw this thread either... but I'm glad it's here.

My H confessed to his PA on my birthday (4/27) after a month of lying about it. We had just had our first child, and his A started while we were trying to conceive. It has torn my heart in half, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to put it back together. Sometimes I feel like I'm only trying for our daughter, because she deserves a chance at having a whole family. I came from a broken home, and hated it, and I don't want her to have the same issues I did from it. It's tough though.

I must admit, I'm having a rough time right now. I had 6 months off of work, and I just had to go back this week (I'm a teacher) so I had to leave my little girl. I hate being away from her every day, and on top of that I'm trying to deal with this A, plus a new job.... my life is rough right now. It's nice to have SI to help me cope!


FBW (Me)-30
FWH- 29 (WorstChoicesEver)
2 1/2-year old daughter
D-day- April 27, 2008
Working on R

Posts: 229 | Registered: May 2008 | From: NY
badlyhurting
♀ Member
Member # 18915
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NewMama,

Always nice when they spoil your birthday, isn't it? I found out about WS's affair the day after mine...so I know it will never be a day I want to celebrate again. (Gee, tomorrow with be X number of years since Dday.)

I also had a baby just after I found out. It was child #5.

Just wanted you to know I'm sending some warm thoughts and prayers your way...and to all of us here on this board.


Me - 37 BW
Him - 50 WX/Sperm Donor
5 beautiful children
Dday 10/29/07 - day after my birthday, 23 days before birth of #5
Too Many False Rs; D final Feb. 09.

Posts: 2472 | Registered: Mar 2008
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, September 6th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew you were out there!!!

Hello,
Sophie
HB
badlyhurting
laidtowaste
Newmama08

Now we can get busy offering support and strength to each other.

HB, I have read some of your posts, and it's understandable why you have a hard time getting out of bed.
I say we should get you a new bed. The most uncomfortable bed they make...
Maybe then you won't like it so much!

badlyhurting,

5 kids and he leaves... thats just not right. You definitely have your hands full and now we have each other to help carry the burden.
((((badly))))

laidtowaste,

Wish his dangley parts would fall off

welcome, sorry you are here, but that remark made me giggle.

Newmama,

Hope you are finding time to relax this weekend. I too work in the schools, only I am in the nurses office of a highschool!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I am off to a polish festival but will check in tommorrow.

Lov'in


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, September 6th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe then you won't like it so much!

It's not that I like it so much, it's that I'm tired of having to face another day every day.

Just like today...
I had another service to go to.
That's 4 now since April.
It's draining on top of the infidelity and divorce crap.
Not to mention losing my daughter.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 7th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HB))))

I am sorry for your pain... and if I can be of any help I would gladly.

Sometimes I am too upbeat, and I was only joking about the bed. I apologize if it upset you.

I can't imagine the heavy cloak of sadness that you carry, and I am deeply sorry about your daughter. No parent should ever have to go thru that... it's not the natural order of things...


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
We_Not_3
♀ Member
Member # 20672
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, September 7th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((new mama)))))) (((((laid2waste)))))))

Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2008
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